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Don't Drink the Water

Written by Woody Allen; Directed by Glen Eric Reed

The Hollanders wanted nothing more than a simple vacation. Instead, they're forced to take refuge in an American embassy behind the Iron Curtain, barely escaping the Communist authorities accusing them of espionage. It's quickly clear that "refuge" is to be taken lightly, as the embassy is being run by the absent ambassador's inept son. What starts as a vacation, turns to a prisoner exchange, then a daring escape attempt, all with undertones of comedy--and a budding romance!


  • Sunday, June 18, 2017 at 7:00 PM
  • Tuesday, June 20, 2017 at 7:00 PM

The show is a farcical comedy set in the 1960s behind the Iron Curtain. Accents will be required for some characters, but they are optional at the auditions. Auditions will comprise cold readings from the script. Some roles may be doubled, depending on turnout and actor preferences. You only need to attend one of the above audition sessions in order to be considered. You should plan to spend approximately two hours at the theatre for auditions, more or less. No appointments are necessary, and all roles are open.

Rehearsals will be on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings. Tech rehearsals will be held on September 3 through 6. Please bring a list of any conflicts you may have to auditions

Cast Requirements

Number of Women: 4-8 (20s-60s)
Number of Men: 6-10 (20s-60s)

Character Descriptions

¹ Indicates a larger role
² Accent will be required
³ Role may be doubled

Father Drobney¹² (m, any) - A priest hiding out in the embassy for six years. He's gone a bit squirrely, mostly manifested in his love of magic tricks. He narrates the play, speaking directly to the audience. Eastern European accent.

Ambassador Magee³ (m, 40s-60s) - U.S. ambassador of an unnamed country behind the Iron Curtain, head of the embassy. Loud and in charge, with little patience. Role requires some physicality.

Kilroy (m/f, any) - Ambassador Magee's stuck-up assistant. Does things by the book and expects everyone else to follow suit.

Axel Magee¹ (m, 20s-40s) - The ambassador's son, an American foreign diplomat who has tried to follow in his father's footsteps--and failed miserably. He has a tendency to ramble, especially when nervous. He falls in love with Susan during the course of the play.

Marion Hollander¹ (f, 40s-60s) - A stay-at-home mother from Newark, New Jersey. Tends to be outwardly kind, but has a bit of an edge to her.

Walter Hollander¹ (m, 40s-60s) - Marion's husband, a caterer. After taking pictures of a secured area, he and his family have become trapped in the American embassy. Despite his somewhat brash exterior, he has a kind heart and good intentions.

Susan Hollander¹ (f, 20s-40s) - Walter and Marion?s daughter. Tends to find the good side to everyone. Falls in love with Axel during the course of the play.

Krojack²³ (m/f, any) - The head of the Secret Police, who traps the Hollanders in the embassy. Eastern European accent. This is a physical role, and the actor must be believably intimidating.

Burns (f/m, any) - An assistant or secretary working at the embassy.

Chef³ (f/m, any) - The embassy's chef, who repeatedly butts heads with Walter. Good comedic character role, will probably require an accent (likely not Eastern European).

Sultan² (m, any) - Visiting dignitary to the embassy, expecting to see the ambassador himself and not happy that he?s not there. A dated representation, dressed in robes, with indistinct Arabian accent.

Sultan?s Wife³ (f, any) - The Sultan's wife, a veiled, non-speaking stereotype.

Kasnar²³ (m, any) - Guest at a party for the Sultan held at the embassy.

Countess Bardoni²³ (f, any) - Guest at a party for the Sultan held at the embassy.


Coming September 8th

September 2017
8:00 pm
8:00 pm
8:00 pm
8:00 pm
2:00 pm
8:00 pm
8:00 pm

Tickets have not yet gone on-sale for this show.


Stage Manager
Tracy Bell
Lighting Designer
Mike Fitzgerald
Master Carpenter
Allen Puy


Glen Eric Reed
Carolyn Salerno

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